Am I ugly yet?

Yes, yes, I'm aware.

I've got the hair of an angel,
the eyes of a fairy,
the height of an elf.

I'm told that I'm beautiful all the time.
I see it when they look me in the eye
they don't even need to say it.

I don't care.

What's the point of all this beauty if I still feel ugly on the inside?
To confuse me?
The prettier you are, the sadder you get.

So, I thought I'd fix that.

Here's a list of things that make me not beautiful, on the inside:

I've not maintained any sort of intimate relationship for more than a few months with the exception of a number of people I can count on one hand.
I've struggled my entire life with simple tasks like brushing my teeth twice a day.
I can barely manage to keep a job for more than a year.
Whenever a pretty girl flirts on me, I exit the conversation ASAP, with what I could only describe as a the most obvious faux politeness in the world.
I have a hazy understanding on the nature of human relationships.
I constantly delve inward, hoping to find some sort of magic key to unlock the car that is my life that is falling apart as we speak.
I also happen to have a car that's falling apart.
I like reading psychology because I need to find out what's wrong with me & how to fix it.
I've always struggled to make friends, I have severe internal emotional sensitivity & will perceive rejection at every turn, because that is the only color by which I see things clearly.
My father died before I had a chance to become friends with him.
The person who gave birth to me is still convinced that she could be my friend in the same breath that she'll tell me that having a place to drink tea is a "false idol" & that it needs to go.
I'm sometimes surprised that I'm not suicidal.
I probably won't regret publishing this. (lie)

Can you stop flirting on me already?
Am I ugly yet?